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Everything I know in one arbitrary list

16 Aug

I often find myself in the presence of people who know a lot of things. I just sit there, in awe, listening to them say thing after thing that they know. And they’re just conjuring it right out of their own heads. All this knowledge is at the ready. What the latest republican presidential candidate said. (What?! I can barely keep up with the democrats! I’m supposed to follow republicans, too?) What we should be doing to fight poverty at home and why certain things will or won’t work. They don’t just know things about politics and social issues, they know things about all kinds of shit. Celebrities. Fashion. Popular Internet memes. Classic movies. Terrible movies. Classic rock. I don’t get it. How do people absorb these things? I know I should be paying attention, maybe even absorbing a little of it myself, but I just can’t focus when all the while I’m fighting the fear that they are going to figure me out. What if they find out I don’t know anything? This is one of the greatest fears I have.

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Assumptions I’ve made about the late 1800’s from watching Deadwood

8 Jul

For the last few weeks, the folks from the city water department have been tearing up my street. It’s made for unpleasant parking and biking conditions in my neighborhood. The situation really hit home when I went to turn on my bathroom faucet the other day and brown water sputtered out. Aside from the fact that plumbing abnormalities usually take me back to the first terrifying time I saw this scene in Ghostbusters II…

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FoodsCo for Thought

19 Jun

“I know you guys probably think this is cute, but I don’t think it’s very cute,” I hear a slightly balding, slightly forty-year-old man say in a slightly effeminate voice. “Let me show you what you guys have done here.” I gather that the ‘you guys’ in this sentence stands for the entire staff and establishment of FoodsCo.

Because that’s where I am. FoodsCo.

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