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The Bachelorette Recap: Week 9: I Know What this Fantasy Suite Means, and I Know What It Implies

28 Jul

It is happening, people. We are down to Ashley’s final two suitors! And what a wily and wacky adventure this week’s episode was. Here is the lowdown:

This week we find ourselves in Fiji, which Ashley generously describes for us as “a set of islands in the South Pacific.” Ash is in her room getting ready for her date with Ben (and I believe she is shown pretending to write in a journal!) when she hears a knock on her door. And, lo and behold, it is Ryan, who has convinced himself that Ashley kicked him off because they’re date was not “conducive enough to romance.” Ryan, that is just pathetic. I have been there, friend, and it is a sad place to be. Ash opens the door and screams “WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!” at Ryan with actual complete agitation. Ry tells Ash he’s sure that they shared something when he got out of the limo. Ash stares at him awkwardly and then reluctantly agrees. He wants her to consider taking him back, and tells her to take a few days to think about it.

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The Bachelorette Recap: Episode 8: An Italian Renaissance Way of Being Romantic

22 Jul

Ah, hometown dates. This week’s episode began with Ashley, back at home in Philadelphia, reflecting on her four final dudes. Ben F she sums up as “just a man.” Okay, fair enough. Constantine is “sexy.” If you’re into that sort of thing…With JP, “everything is there.” Cut to scene of Jordan Paul in front of the fireplace wearing adorable rented pajamas. Ames is “unique,” she says, “We’re both nerdy.” Ash drinks from a mug, a Yorkie jumps on her suitcase, and she goes outside where she pretends to hail a cab. Continue reading

The Bachelorette Recap: Episode 7: A Total Mind-F*ck

14 Jul

Well friends, I meant to begin posting on-going Bachelorette commentary at the start of this season. But – as Chris Harrison’s tearful yet weirdly uninformative conversation with Emily this week reminded us – sometimes we just don’t get what we want. No matter how much we love it. And I do love the Bachelor franchise. I’ve loved it since I started watching it in Jason’s season, when my fellow Masuk High School alum Erica DeSimone was featured in Jason’s pool of eligible ladies! But I digress. This season is about just one lady. And her name is Ashley. Continue reading