The 5 Finger: A Male Ugg?

16 Jun

Today I had lunch with a man wearing these:

Yes, Vibram’s creepy 5 Finger “shoes” now come in brown suede.  You know, so you can wear them to work.

Well, you can wear them to work if you’re a software engineer.

I actually don’t mind these shoes…that much.  In theory, I don’t care what people wear on any part of their body as long as it’s consensual and no bodily fluids escape.  We should all be free…to be you and me.  But.  I have to admit, there is something disconcerting about the 5 Finger.  It looks kind of post-apocalyptic.  I frequently imagine a world in which no one can go outside unless they are covered in Vibram-like black rubber product.

Also: the name.  It sounds kind of like a vibrator.

People have opinions about this shoe.  The U.S. Army has (maybe) banned them.  And apparently, women hate them.  According to my (very well-dressed and good looking) sample subject (n=1), women have vehemently decried the 5 Finger.

As he gave an impassioned explanation of how comfortable the 5 Finger was and how he just didn’t care if women were impressed, I couldn’t help feeling like I have made the same impassioned speech many times about my favorite pair of shoes:

I love my Uggs.  According to this article (n=?) and my own sampling effort (n=1), men hate Uggs.

And yeah, it doesn’t really matter because people should just wear what they want to wear, be who they want to be.  Amen, amen.


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